Aloha sixth graders! Today. I have a challenge for you! When you are done with your Edison testing. please relax and enjoy the air conditioning. Here's what I want you to do! The following narrative is written in Third person! Can you rewrite it so that it is written in First Person? Let's give it a try! Have Fun!
Lionel crouched beneath the low hanging mangroves on the edge of the beach, his skin blending with the half light. Though his eyes were as round as golf balls (he was sure of it), he held deathly still, quaffing his breath, releasing it slowly, praying he would not let out the gasp that would surely give up his location. Stealthily he began to inch his way into the forest, away from the ocean, away from the danger that warbled along the sand. The dragon's red eyes hungrily probed the tree line. Lionel was thankful for the windless dawn, but he knew he had to move quietly in order to avoid making any sound. He walked on the balls of his bare feet and crouched low to the ground, avoiding the dry wood of the mangrove that would snap! Lionel froze! Horrified he realized that now he would surely be found out! Game over! His mind was a flurry of fear, but the excitement was too difficult to contain. He stifled a bout of of involuntary laughter!
From down on the beach, he heard his sister call out, "Okay. I know you're up there! Come out now and I won't tickle you to death! Lionel! You're so funny! Come on! Game over! We have to head back to town!" Lionel smiled as he watched his older sister, Mei Ling, carefully lift the dragon mask from her shoulders. Her straight black hair shimmered in the waning sun's rays. From beneath her dark lips, Lionel could see her white teeth glinting, perfecting her smile. Lionel transformed from hunted to hunter as he crouched low to the ground, his knuckles touching the sand in a defensive line stance. When he could no longer contain himself, he sprung from the tangle of mangroves and grabbed his sister in a waist hold and tried to wrestle her to the sand. But she was too strong and her smile gave way to laughter and she said, firmly, still smiling, "Okay, Lionel. It's time to go!" Together they walked up to the life guard stand and drove off, happily chattering about the events of the day.
I crouched beneath the low hanging mangroves on the edge of the beach, my skin blending with the half light. Though my eyes were as round as golf balls (I was sure of it), I held deathly still, quaffing my breath, releasing it slowly, praying I would not let out the gasp that would surely give up my location. Stealthily I began to inch my way into the forest, away from the ocean, away from the danger that warbled along the sand, my red eyes hungrily probing the tree line. I was thankful for the windless dawn, but I knew I had to move quietly in order to avoid making any sound. I walked on the balls of my bare feet and crouched low to the ground, avoiding the dry wood of the mangrove that would snap! I froze! Horrified I realized that now I would surely be found out! Game over! My mind was a flurry of fear, but the excitement was too difficult to contain. I stifled a bout of of involuntary laughter!
ReplyDeleteFrom down on the beach, I heard my sister call out, "Okay. I know you're up there! Come out now and I won't tickle you to death! Lionel! You're so funny! Come on! Game over! We have to head back to town!" I smiled as I watched my older sister, Mei Ling, carefully lift the dragon mask from her shoulders. Her straight black hair shimmered in the waning sun's rays. From beneath her dark lips, I could see her white teeth glinting, perfecting her smile. I transformed from hunted to hunter as I crouched low to the ground, my knuckles touching the sand in a defensive line stance. When I could no longer contain myself, I sprung from the tangle of mangroves and grabbed my sister in a waist hold and tried to wrestle her to the sand. But she was too strong and her smile gave way to laughter and she said, firmly, still smiling, "Okay, Lionel. It's time to go!" Me and my sister walked up to the life gaurd stand and drove off, happily chattering about the events of the day-Nathan Tarriga Period 6
ReplyDeleteI crouched beneath the low hanging mangroves on the edge of the beach, my skin blending with the half light. Though my eyes were as round as golf balls (he was sure of it), I held deathly still, quaffing my breath, releasing it slowly, praying I would not let out the gasp that would surely give up my location. Stealthily I began to inch my way into the forest, away from the ocean, away from the danger that warbled along the sand, its red eyes hungrily probing the tree line. I was thankful for the windless dawn, but I knew he had to move quietly in order to avoid making any sound. I walked on the balls of his bare feet and crouched low to the ground, avoiding the dry wood of the mangrove that would snap! I froze! Horrified he realized that now he would surely be found out! Game over! My mind was a flurry of fear, but the excitement was too difficult to contain. I stifled a bout of of involuntary laughter!
From down on the beach, he heard his sister call out, "Okay. I know you're up there! Come out now and I won't tickle you to death! Lionel! You're so funny! Come on! Game over! We have to head back to town!" Lionel smiled as he watched his older sister, Mei Ling, carefully lift the dragon mask from her shoulders. Her straight black hair shimmered in the waning sun's rays. From beneath her dark lips, I could see her white teeth glinting, perfecting her smile. I transformed from hunted to hunter as he crouched low to the ground, his knuckles touching the sand in a defensive line stance. When I could no longer contain himself, I sprung from the tangle of mangroves and grabbed his sister in a waist hold and tried to wrestle her to the sand. But she was too strong and her smile gave way to laughter and she said, firmly, still smiling, "Okay, Lionel. It's time to go!" Together they walked up to life gaurd stand and drove off, happily chattering about the events of the day.
I crouched beneath the low hanging mangroves on the edge of the beach my skin blending with the half light .Though my eyes were as round as golf balls (I was sure of it), I held deathly still, quaffing my breath , releasing it slowly, praying I would not let out the gasp that would surely give up my location. Stealthily I began to inch my way into the forest, away from the ocean, away from the danger that warbled along the sand, its red eyes hungrily probing the tree line. I was thankful for the windless dawn, but I knew he had to move quietly in order to avoid making any sound. I walked on the balls of his bare feet and crouched low to the ground, avoiding the dry wood of the mangrove that would snap! I froze! Horrified he realized that now he would surely be found out! Game over! My mind was a flurry of fear, but the excitement was too difficult to contain. I stifled a bout of involuntary laughter!
ReplyDeleteFrom down on the beach, he heard his sister call out, "Okay. I know you're up there! Come out now and I won't tickle you to death! Lionel! You're so funny! Come on! Game over! We have to head back to town!" Lionel smiled as he watched his older sister, Mei Ling, carefully lift the dragon mask from her shoulders. Her straight black hair shimmered in the waning sun's rays. From beneath her dark lips, I could see her white teeth glinting, perfecting her smile. I transformed from hunted to hunter as he crouched low to the ground, his knuckles touching the sand in a defensive line stance. When I could no longer contain himself, I sprung from the tangle of mangroves and grabbed his sister in a waist hold and tried to wrestle her to the sand. But she was too strong and her smile gave way to laughter and she said, firmly, still smiling, "Okay, Lionel. It's time to go!" Together they walked up to life guard stand and drove off, happily chattering about the events of the day. - Hugh Ishikawa period 7
ReplyDeleteNoel LearyDecember 9, 2013 at 12:16 PM
I crouched beneath the low hanging mangroves on the edge of the beach, my skin blending with the half light. Though my eyes were as round as golf balls (I was sure of it), I held deathly still, quaffing my breath, releasing it slowly, praying I would not let out the gasp that would surely give up my location. Stealthily I began to inch my way into the forest, away from the ocean, away from the danger that warbled along the sand, my red eyes hungrily probing the tree line. I was thankful for the windless dawn, but I knew I had to move quietly in order to avoid making any sound. I walked on the balls of my bare feet and crouched low to the ground, avoiding the dry wood of the mangrove that would snap! I froze! Horrified I realized that now I would surely be found out! Game over! My mind was a flurry of fear, but the excitement was too difficult to contain. I stifled a bout of of involuntary laughter!
From down on the beach, I heard my sister call out, "Okay. I know you're up there! Come out now and I won't tickle you to death! Lionel! You're so funny! Come on! Game over! We have to head back to town!" I smiled as I watched my older sister, Mei Ling, carefully lift the dragon mask from her shoulders. Her straight black hair shimmered in the waning sun's rays. From beneath her dark lips, I could see her white teeth glinting, perfecting her smile. I transformed from hunted to hunter as I crouched low to the ground, my knuckles touching the sand in a defensive line stance. When I could no longer contain myself, I sprung from the tangle of mangroves and grabbed my sister in a waist hold and tried to wrestle her to the sand. But she was too strong and her smile gave way to laughter and she said, firmly, still smiling, "Okay, Lionel. It's time to go!" Me and my sister walked up to the life gaurd stand and drove off, happily chattering about the events of the day-Kallen Wachi (a.k.a dvc2006)